


into the blue

by dryadfiona



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/F, Fix-It of Sorts, Post-Canon, aaaaaaaaaaalso i'm the worst so, ik it's short so all this shit's just mentioned hence my not tagging it, plus some callijaneroxy and davekat but that's Canon bitch, there's also rosejadekan and dirkjohn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-27
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-12-20 11:29:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11919966
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dryadfiona/pseuds/dryadfiona
Summary: Terezi has been searching for over a sweep. She thinks she's found her--but what is this?





	into the blue

Paradox space is/was a thing meant to  _persist_.

Terezi sometimes feels the weight of it in her bones, the limitless possibilities contrasted with the inevitability of fate, and she knows Rose does too. Maybe it's a Seer thing, maybe they just remember the timelines in a way the others don't, maybe, maybe, maybe.

> have you found anything?

John is her friend. Not her enemy. Alternia is just another thing she's coming to terms with right now.

> M4YB3

She never used to hate maybe.

\--

Paradox space is/was something unsustainable.

That's how _she_  destroyed it, after all--there was always a way to break it.  _8r8k_ _it_ , Terezi thinks, and she'd smile if she wasn't surrounded by destruction and nothing.

> Are You Sure You Want To Keep Doing This

Terezi was always annoyed when she'd complain about Kanaya's meddling. A lot annoyed her about her, then.

> 4R3 YOU SUR3 YOU W4NT TO K33P 4SK1NG M3 PO1NTL3SS QU3ST1ONS

Kanaya doesn't answer for awhile, and when she does, it's to say:

> Im Sorry
> 
> I Dont Want To Hurt You
> 
> I Know How Important She Was To You
> 
> WH4T DO YOU M34N W4S

Terezi really doesn't mean to be belligerent. But this conversation has happened before, will happen again, and it's hard to deal with someone else's doubts when you're already wrestling with your own.

> I Mean That Even If Shes Still Alive I Dont Know How Youd Find Her
> 
> I Will Admit Your Penchant For Doing The Impossible Has Surprised And Shocked Me Before But This Is On Another Level Entirely
> 
> Youre Reminding Me Of Rose
> 
> WHY M4RY4M 1S TH1S 4 SOL1C1T4T1ON
> 
> HOW DO3S THE OTH3R L4LOND3-M4RY4M F33L 4BOUT TH1S
> 
> Oh No Youve Discovered My True Intentions
> 
> For Sweeps Now I Have Been Flushing As Red As The Blood Of My Wife For You
> 
> My Wedding And Truly My Entire Relationship With Rose Was Simply A Ploy To Get You To Notice Me As I Decided To Take Romantic Advice From Karkat For Some Fucking Reason
> 
> I Hope You Understand The Work I Have Put Into This And Will Begin Reciprocating My Efforts Immediately
> 
> Perhaps You Will Initiate An Affair That We Must Hide
> 
> I From My Wife And You From Karkat And Dave So As To Avoid The Moralizing
> 
> Despite Our Clearly Superior Compatibility Rose And I Will Have A Few Moments That Remind Me Of The Good Times
> 
> K4N4Y4
> 
> Meanwhile You Will Realize That I Make You Want To Settle Down And Find Love Even If It Means Sacrificing Your Career Because We Must Input Gender Roles Somewhere So As To Truly Be A Romcom
> 
> K4N4Y4
> 
> The Movie Will Have At Least One Kissing In The Rain Scene And Two Obligatory Screaming Confrontations Fit More For A Black Romance Than Attempts At Other Quadrants
> 
> K4N4Y4 M4RY4M PL34S3 STOP 1MM3D14T3LY
> 
> If I Must
> 
> 1 M34N WH4T TH3 FUCK

\--

> I Really Am Worried About You Though
> 
> When I Said You Reminded Me Of Rose I Meant As She Was When We First Spoke
> 
> She Was Breaking Everything For Her Goals Too And While I Do Not Believe You Are About To Be Possessed By Gods We Don't Even Know Still Exist Nor Fuck Up Quite As Spectacularly As My Wife I
> 
> Well I Dont Know Whats Going To Happen
> 
> And That Worries Me On A Personal Level Because Of
> 
> Everything
> 
> But Mostly I Just Feel Like Youre Losing Yourself Out There

She doesn't answer, this time.

\--

Terezi  _knows_ this search might be pointless, and that she's one of the few who didn't make it into this world immortal--she doesn't actually have the time to waste. But it just feels wrong without her there, and time doesn't quite feel like an actual weight on her heart the way her absence does. One day her impending mortality will sink in, maybe the day Karkat dies, maybe the day her body gets weaker instead of taller/stronger/sharper. But right now it all feels pointless.

> any luck dude
> 
> NO
> 
> damn
> 
> for what its worth im sorry
> 
> TH4NKS

\--

Most of this place, where reality meets the notrealnothingherememories of paradox space, feels timeless. But here--wherever  _here_ is--is ancient.

She's not even a Time player, for fuck's sake--this is too easy.

Instead of the blank whiteness she's grown used to, it's all blue--cobalt, if one were in favor of using proper terminology.

It's just like her to stain paradox space with her own blood, claim it as her own, make a mark as if  _daring_ it to destroy her. Or maybe it's a grand gesture of  _remem8er me 8efore i go_ , because Terezi knows she intended to die. She always did.

Maybe it's an SOS. Maybe it's not even her.

Maybe maybe maybe maybe.

Fuck maybe.

She dives into the blue, and suddenly she's going  _back--_

\--

They're 4 sweeps old and this is one of their earliest FLARPing campaigns.

Terezi is all small and smiles and scourge, and there's is her partner in justice, and they're cackling, with their arms around each other.

She remembers this, and despite herself she inhales deeply to take it all in--

Wait, she wasn't blind yet.

"Go back," she says, happily, still just a kid. "You don't belong here."

"Where are we, is this real--" Terezi starts to say, but--

\--

They're 5 sweeps old and this is one of the last FLARPing campaigns.

They're hissing at each other, voices rough and low, and her partner's got olive blood on her hands, and Terezi feels like she wants cobalt on hers.

"Please don't leave this time," Terezi says.

"No--you need to go  _away_ \--"

"Not without you," she snarls, feeling just as frustrated as she did then.

"Fuck you," she hisses.

\--

They're 6 sweeps old and the battle rages around them.

A moment of alliance despite the tension, tension of all kinds, red-pale-black-rival-friend-somethings standing back-to-back against the onslaught.

"I need to stay here," she says, and she sounds desperate now. "That world is yours, not mine--"

"You saved it," Terezi says, slashing at a rook's weapon. "You made it."

"No no no no no no no  _no_!"

She feels her partner dart away behind her, and that's not how this happened, and she turns and sees cracks of white through the battlefield--

\--

They're 6 sweeps old and they're talking to human boys and it's all for each other.

Terezi opens a new pesterlog.

> GC: WHY 4R3 YOU DO1NG TH1S
> 
> GC: COM3 B4CK W1TH M3
> 
> AG: You don't get it!!!!!!!!
> 
> AG: I never W8NTED that world.
> 
> GC: WHY
> 
> GC: YOU D3S3RV3 TO B3 TH3R3
> 
> GC: 1 W4NT YOU TH3R3
> 
> AG: Do you re8lly????????
> 
> GC: DO YOU R34LLY H4V3 TO DO TH3 8 THING
> 
> AG: Ha!
> 
> AG: I missed you.
> 
> GC: 1 M1SS3D YOU TOO

\--

They're 6 sweeps old and Terezi feels herself being ripped  _apart._

There's blood on her sword and a body in her arms and a body in front of her that's not a body but her with a rapidly spreading bruise and a boy in blue and she's watching a girl go knowing it means her death all at once.

She screams, not because of the realities but because all of these hurt her.

"Please," she says. "Tell me where to find you,  _really_ find you--"

"I don't want to," she says, and her voice is small. "You don't want to, really. Go back."

\--

They are 7 sweeps old and reality feels more solid, now.

Terezi can vaguely feel the ache of missing her, but mostly she's just laughing, arms around the person she loves most in all of paradox space.

"Please come home with me," Terezi says.

"Why?" she says, gnawing at her lower lip, looking down at Terezi through eyes still shifting cobalt.

She always felt herself getting lost in those eyes.

"Don't you know by now?" Terezi says.

"Know what?" she says.

"I want to tell you," Terezi says.

"So do it," she says, moving her arm away, wrapping both around herself.

"You," Terezi says. "Actually you."

She pauses, nods.

\--

They are 7 sweeps old and sitting next to each other talking, quiet, intimate, a momentary break from the chaos of what's to come, from everyone else.

She feels reality shift itself, and it's not exactly solid or real, but the weight is lifted.

"Vriska," Terezi says, and she can smell the teal of her own tears, and they're hugging each other like their lives depend on it. Maybe they do.

She doesn't mind that maybe.

"Please," Vriska says. "Please tell me, please please please--"

"You don't have to say it eight times," Terezi says.

"Please," Vriska says.

"I love you," Terezi says. "Not pale, not red, not _platonic,_ I just--I love you, I love you so much--"

Vriska kisses her, and it tastes like...well, like tears and a girl who hasn't brushed her teeth in too long. Gross.

"I love you," Vriska says, pulling back and kissing Terezi's cheek. "I love you, I love you," and then there's a kiss to her nose, and Terezi can't help but laugh. "I love you, I love you, I love you," a kiss to her forehead, and there's probably lipstick all over her face. "I love you," and Terezi can feel that Vriska is shaking when they hug, and they rest their heads on each other's shoulder.

"I love you," Terezi says.

"Did you really have to fucking interrupt me?" Vriska says, but she can feel the smile against her throat.

There's a brief pause.

"What'd I miss?"

"Kanaya went through an elaborate human romance ceremony with Rose as a ploy for my attention and now we're having an affair," Terezi says.

"Bitch," Vriska sighs. It's the happiest insult Terezi's ever heard.

\--

> _gallowsCalibrator has opened a memo!_
> 
> _gallowsCalibrator has sent an image labeled SCOURG31SB4CKB1TCH3S_
> 
> GA: Well Fuck Me
> 
> GC: 1 THOUGHT W3 4LR34DY 3ST4BL1SH3D TH3 4FF41R W4S 4 B4D 1D34
> 
> TT: How disappointing.
> 
> TT: Here I thought I would finally have content for my newest novel, though I suppose to really be inspired I would have to have an affair of my own in retaliation.
> 
> TT: Anyone?
> 
> GG: well as long as kanaya knows about it i'd be down!!!
> 
> TT: Jade, as much as I appreciate your willingness to take one for the team, I would like to be clear I am merely dragging a joke out too far to annoy Terezi and my wife.
> 
> TG: hell yeah thats my sister
> 
> TT: Thank you.
> 
> GG: oh well
> 
> GG: talk to me later ;0
> 
> TT: Jade, you are incorrigible.
> 
> TT: I would have to talk to Kanaya.
> 
> GA: To Be Honest I Dont Mind
> 
> TT: Really?
> 
> TT: I'm not upset, far from it, just
> 
> TT: Surprised.
> 
> GG: should we be talking about this on a public board???
> 
> TG: no
> 
> CG: WHAT THE EVERSHITTING FUCK
> 
> CG: NO.
> 
> CG: WE ARE NOT BRINGING BACK THESE MEMOS.
> 
> EB: rose that's my sister!
> 
> GG: I think you should let them go for it! :B
> 
> GG: After all, Rose was kind enough not to get on my case when I started dating Roxy and Callie.
> 
> UU: qUite the opposite actUally!
> 
> UU: she was very supportive <3
> 
> TT: You are the best mother-in-law.
> 
> UU: thank yoU!
> 
> TG: awwwwwwwwww rose!!!
> 
> TG: you are so sweet
> 
> GC: FUCK 4LL OF YOU
> 
> GC: VR1SK4S B4CK
> 
> GC: 4ND YOUR3 4LL FOCUS1NG ON YOUR ROM4NT1C DR4M4S
> 
> GC: Fuck you guys!!!!!!!!
> 
> _gallowsCalibrator has added arachnidsGrip to the memo!_
> 
> GC: ST4Y OFF MY 4CCOUNT 4SSHOL3 YOU H4V3 4 PHON3
> 
> AG: Okay.
> 
> AG: Fuck you guys!!!!!!!!
> 
> EB: hi vriska!
> 
> AG: Oh hi.
> 
> AG: What's up? What've you been doing?
> 
> EB: uh.
> 
> EB: nothing.
> 
> GT: Well *thats* not true.
> 
> EB: what are you talking about?
> 
> TT: Me.
> 
> EB: dirk!
> 
> TT: Do you have any idea how difficult it was not to say that right when she asked?
> 
> TT: I mean, what you've been doing?
> 
> TT: The opportunity is incredible.
> 
> TG: ew gross
> 
> CG: THANK YOU. AT LEAST MY BOYFRIEND HAS SOME SENSE.
> 
> CG: PLEASE
> 
> CG: STOP THESE MEMOS
> 
> CG: FOR FUCK'S SAKE
> 
> TG: no guys i think its cute!
> 
> TG: mom you are so weird
> 
> TG: thanks!
> 
> AG: F8CK YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!


End file.
